REBIRTH (:

2011-07-24T13:19:00.002+08:00

It's been a long time yeah. I'd almost forgotten that I own a blog. I got nothing to update so yeah. Gonna go MIA. Bye.

2011-04-10T19:00:00.007+08:00

Argh! It's already been one month since I last partied ): I don't care. I want to go chiong! I want to nod my head like yeah and move my hips like yeah \m/ Tsk. I don't know when will I recover. Throat and mouth still have lots of ulcers. Can't talk much and can't swallow. I haven't been eating well for one week plus so I'm really starving. Starved until my gastric is back ): I forced myself to finish the whole plate of pasta just now. If not, my gastric might get worst. But I didn't loose weight la. Where got so easy one leh? LOL.

Yesterday, all of a sudden, I received a call from someone. Someone whom my heart used to beat fast when I see him around. But that's the past la. We chatted on the phone for quite a while. Haven't been doing that since a long time ago. Kinda miss that but what to do? Everyone is so busy you see.

And today, I received a text from someone whom I never expect him to text me anymore after the quarrel. Yeah, he apologised. I know he's a good guy. Just that some bitch did him wrong in the past so he became what he is now? I don't know but that could be what had happened. Don't keep thinking about her alright? It's already over since you said that you will listen to me. Just forget about her existence will you? I rather you move on than to stay stagnant on the same spot thinking how bastard you were to her. Come on. She has been a bitch as well. So it's fair that you do the same thing to her la. Morale of the story: Don't get involved with someone whom you don't even know well enough. You'll leave room for regrets. I'm not being sacarstic or anything. I'm saying all these cause I want you to know. Never not to listen to someone who has good intentions. Told you right from the start so yeah. Guess what? I never knew that you read my twitter. Never even thought that you will do it. But I'm glad you did. At least you know I really care right? But once again, it's the past.

2011-04-07T21:17:00.003+08:00

Alright. I deleted the post. Come on la. Why make it such a big deal? Who is stalking you and your gf's fb? For fuck? And you are stalking my blog. IF not, why will you say that I bitch about you and her? Ridiculous. Ya la. Scary la. Cry mama then. For your info, I got the pictures not from your fb or your gf's fb. It's on Nicky's photo album. Go on. Continue to say that I'm a bitch or whatever you like. The same thing applies to you as well. You stalked my blog too. -'-

2011-03-31T16:56:00.002+08:00

I trust no one in this world except for myself. I'd learnt that even the closest one to you will turn around and stab you at the back. It happened so many times, to the extent that I stop giving complete trust. I ain't even close to you guys. Who are you to condemn me? Fuck you guys man! But I trust you girl. It's only fair that I trust since you trusted me. My bff, who knew everything about me. To be honest, I'm pretty jealous cause you becoming cai now. *pouts* Next time go chiong then you get more guys than me. I will jealous. HAHAHA! I'm just kidding babe! It's good that you become cai. We can GDP together! :D

2011-03-27T18:27:00.003+08:00

Okay, this ain't for anyone to read but I just wanna say it all out. My mind's really fucked up right now. I've been thinking. What the hell happened yesterday. I did something really ridiculous yesterday. Don't even know how it started and why I did it. I literally agreed to play fling with a player. What the fuck seriously. But I backed out in the end. I just couldn't do it. Say that I have no guts or whatsoever. I ain't some slut so I can't bring myself to do it. Perhaps, I'm tired of flinging. Been flinging quite a lot in the past. Got hurt in love, didn't want to believe in love so I fling. But I get pretty much nothing from it. Nothing is real anyway. They just come and go. So what's the point? I wanted to get out from this mess quite badly so I argued with the player. He's pretty pissed with me but I don't give a fuck la. I still wanna be friends with him but doubt it will happen anyway. He's really REALLY REALLY pissed now. Guess we're strangers now. My definition of fling? It's the feeling of infatuation. When the feeling dies, everything ends. Nothing else. Am I stupid or something? Why the heck do I still believe in love when I got pretty much shit from my last relationship? I always believed that the next guy will be better though it never happens. Kinda sucky honestly. I'm turning 20 and all the guys I met are just jerks? I'm starting to believe that there's only cassonova left in this world. Damn pathetic ain't it? Omg, such a cruel reality. Jin Quan, Wilson, Yudhi, Hu Han, Yida, Ray, Shawn, Royston, Rictus, Junda, Zack, Remy, Huijie and those clubbers I met? Gosh. The number is big. It's more than 15. Dude, more than 15. How sad can this be? None of them is meant to stay. I don't want the number to keep increasing. I had enough. When I was 16, he promised to get married with me when we turn 18. He broke his promise and ditched me 4 days before I turn 17. When I was 19, I wanted him to be my last guy. He said that we'll get married if we are still together when we're 22. But he was lying through his teeth from the start. None of his words were the truth and he lied to me all the while. In between, on and off flings which I get nothing out of it. I feel quite upset. It's like I'm being played most of the time. Being made used and toyed with. But I feel guilty as well. Cause I did toy with guys who wanted to get serious with me. I made them fell for me and then I ditched them. I even made guys shed tears for me. What a terrible person I am. I just wanted to fling at that time. I didn't want to go serious cause I got hurt. But now, I'm tired of being hurt. I want to be loved. I'm tired of those "come and go" guys. I want a guy who will stay. Honestly, I envy those couples who are together for years. Cause I haven't met one. I really want to believe that I will meet one. But it's hard, after being through so much. Because I want to be serious now, I can't fling anymore. I don't want to regret in the future. Despite having flings in the past, I haven't regret any of my decisions. It's life experience, ain't it? It's never guaranteed what will happen tomorrow. I just do whatever I want and still be the Queen in my life. I experienced how it feels to fling and now, I want to have a serious relationship that eventually, I will get something out of it. Commitment for a lifetime. It takes time so I won't rush. I believe that whatever that is meant to be mine, will be mine eventually. Nothing's gonna change this fact. He will accept me for who I am and not lie to me, cause lying is the one thing I hate the most and won't tolerate. I'm pretty much still feeling confused. I was right to back out from the deal, wasn't I? Why do I feel as if I was wrong to argue with you? Is it because I lost you as a friend for good? Gosh, I don't want to think anymore. You do whatever you want and I do whatever I want. If our paths won't cross, then so be it. I don't give a fuck. You already state your point and I'd made my stand. Be strangers then, if that's what you want. I've learnt to let go and move on fast. That's the fastest way to end misery no matter how much I struggle inside. No point getting tangeled in draggy business and get myself stucked in shit. It will only make me feel more pain. Guess that's in my blood. It made me turn out to who I am today. I don't like to clash with other people so I always do things that made me unique. I'm just like being the unique one. So, it's logical when I choose to let go and move on fast right? Other people take ages but I can just do it immediately. I don't want to lose my smile. You see my point? It doesn't matter if no one understands the way I do things. I got used to it anyway. I understand myself is enough.

2011-03-25T01:14:00.008+08:00

Gosh. Blog's been dead for so long so I'm here to revive it. *Blows* TADAAAAAA!! Alright, where shall I start? Ever since I broke up with the jerk, I'm more cautious. To me honest, I don't trust the people around me now. And the reason is because I'll never know when they will turn around and stab me or worst, betray the trust I gave to them. My stand is still the same. Never once change. I don't lie to people so I hate it when people lie to me. But I must admit, I have secrets. I didn't lie about it though. It's just that I chose not to say about it. It's my secret, not yours anyway.

People come and go everyday. Just like the guys in my life as well. They come and go, and never meant to stay. No matter whatever shit they say, I don't believe in it anymore. Maybe not now. I'm not being depressed but that's the truth. The reality in this cruel world. Ain't it weird? Girls want guys who are handsome, caring, and love them. But too bad. They don't really exist in this era now. Go back to ice age, maybe, you still can find them. Guys I met nowadays? Cassanova. That's it. Nothing else. That's the pathetic thing. Girls who have many guys are sluts. So guys who have many girls are what? Bastards? And, don't tell me guys who can get many girls are legend. I don't give a fuck. Who's gonna get married to a man who has a truckload full of other women? Dumbass ._.

Blah. It's getting too much. All those piercings and ink on me, is making me look so ah lian in the eyes of those conservative people. I just don't get it. Body piercings and tattoo is art. And please get this straight into your mind. Body modifications doesn't change character. I'm still me. So why the heck people link them to being ah lian or whatever? Lame shit man! So, I'm an ah-lian-wannabe now eh? Fine. I'm gonna be a good girl and don't go clubbing for this week then. Guess what? I always wanted piercings and ink on me. But I wasn't that rebellious when I was younger. I didn't want to. Now, I'm unleashing the rebel in me bit by bit. I knew it right from the start. I'm just a bad girl in disguise. And no one appreciates it. But fuck it! I can't be bothered as well!

And just being random, motives. That's what's on my mind now. Tell me, what's your motive for coming near me? You made me go crazy for you, broke my heart, and left me alone to deal with all the heartache. What's the point of all these? I had enough. If I ever met a jerk again, I'll stick my middle finger right at his face and walk away. Cause my middle finger says " Fuck you!"

2011-02-27T18:34:00.002+08:00

Fuck it seriously. I rather know the truth right from the start than to have me believe in your lies. I'd always thought that we broke up cause of my past. But it wasn't. It was because I put on weight and you hated my braces. You were freaked out cause of my blog as well. You fucking liar. You said that you didn't mind my braces but you did. You never mean what you said huh? And the worst of all, you cheated on me. You know how painful it is to hear all these from a third party? You don't blame the person who told me all these. I'm thankful to her cause I won't blame my past now. I blame it on myself, for meeting a jerk like you. You are no different from the other jerks I met. In fact, you are the worst! How could you push everything to me when evidently, you were the one at fault? You said that I lied to you and blah. Now who's the liar?! I told you the truth after I lied but you didn't. You never intend to let me find out all these right? Fuck you man! I was too dumb to believe your lies. You will get your retribution. Believe me, you will! You don't toy with my feelings just like that. I'll make you regret what you did to me. You fucking cunt!

2011-02-21T09:25:00.002+08:00

Why do you want me to hate you? Does me hating you makes you feel better? Hating you has never crossed my mind and I don't want to hate you. You are afraid that things will get awkward between us now that we had broke up. Don't worry. There won't be a chance for it to happen. I'm certain of that. What are the chances of you texting me again? It's less than 1 percent. What are the chances of you asking me out? It's zero percent. You'd never asked me out so now that we had broke up, it will never ever happen. I won't bother texting you no matter how badly I want to cause I know you will be irritated. You are already vexed enough and I know this relationship gives you the biggest headache. It's good that you let of of it, isn't it? A relief for you, I guess. Honestly, I had never smiled genuinely when you told me you wanted a break. Now that you had left, I really lost my smile for good. Perhaps subconsciously, I already expected this day to come. I knew that you will leave me when I told you about Ric. It's just a matter of time. I was wrong to let this drag. Now that it had dragged so long, it's killing me inside. I'd fallen too deep into this mess. The only way for me to get out, is to say good bye. And I really mean a GOOD BYE.

2011-02-20T22:50:00.005+08:00

Okay, I guess it's really over between us ): I couldn't hold my tears so I cried just now. I'm really so disappointed. Maybe not as much with you but myself. I made the effort but it wasn't enough to keep you. My past brought me down as well. Why must happiness be short term? I trusted someone who doubt me. I loved someone who doesn't love me. I'm just too dumb to believe everything you said. I'm better off dead I guess. I won't feel so miserable then. It's been driving me insane for the past 2 months. Fuck my life.

And guess what? I'd never watched a movie with you. I'd never club with you proper. I'd never went shopping with you proper. I'd never fed you food. I'd never got a chance to do all these. You didn't give me the chance to do so. I'm quite upset by it.

Can I please keep those fuck bands you gave me? You must know. I have never stopped loving you. You were the one who pushed me away. You were the one who left. Good bye.

2011-01-11T16:56:00.001+08:00

I've got so much to say in my heart but I just couldn't speak a word ):

2010-12-28T17:15:00.002+08:00

Today marks the day I got together with Remy for one month! I miss cuddling with him. The weather is so cold now. Nice time to cuddle but he's not with me. Aww ): Anyway, 2010 is ending soon, like in a few days. What awaits me in 2011? I don't really care. I still do whatever I want and be the queen :D

He's been stoning quite a lot recently, and he's getting slower. I'm like that as well. I'm just too lazy to move at times. I'm waiting for him to upload the photos for quite some time but he's too busy to upload them ): Oh well, nevermind! When the time comes, he'll upload them.

My hands got stained with the colours from the pomegranate and it's really stubborn! I've been trying to remove them since last friday and it still stays on my hands. Fuck that! My hands look really dirty with the stains ):

2010-12-15T18:31:00.003+08:00

My whole day is fucked. First thing in the morning, my chef said that the chiller is damn messy and asked those in charge to clean it. Well, he got a problem with me. Only on Wednesdays, and it must be a Wednesday, when I'm in charge of cleaning the chillers and freezers, he will purposely find fault with it and make life difficult for me. It's not the first time. It has been four consecutive Wednesdays. On other days, people don't even clean it or the least, pack the chiller. I did what I'm supposed to do including cleaning the walls and yet he always find fault. Tell me, how fair is him?

Next, I got scolded by the school admin. She just yelled at me for not being on time and shit. Hello bitch. Is it my fault? I know that the pick up is at 8.30am. BUT, our reporting time is at 8.15am and my chef did his briefing and we only start our work at 8.30am. So, is it my fault when I can only start work at 8.30am and you fucking want your macaroons delivered to you at 8.30am? We cannot prepared it the day before. If you want macaroons that taste soggy and gross, fine. I'll do it in advance for you. Are you a retard? Don't you know that macaroons only taste nice if the filling is piped in on the day itself? And, the best thing is that I'm not in charge of doing function. I was just helping out. So, is it my fault? And, that bitchy admin went to lodge a complaint saying that we were rude to her. Fuck that! She was the one that was rude to us. We didn't even get the chance to explain why we were late. She just kept on scolding us. After that bitchy admin left, my chef started to scold us and when I tried to stand up for myself, he told me that I'm not supposed to fight for my rights. Now I get it. I got no human rights in Singapore. OR is it I got no human rights is my school? Fuck that shit man! Seriously, fuck that! -'-

In the afternoon, someone pissed my chef off. He got so angry so he started yelling. EVERYONE coluld hear him screaming in the kitchen and outside the kitchen. Fucking childish ._. After shouting outside the kitchen, he pushed the door so hard and it hit me! I was helping to clean the dough sheeter and I got hit. He didn't apologise when the door hit me.

Then, another admin came to pick up her 12 boxes of macaroons. I just came back to the toilet and when I stepped into the kitchen, my chef told me to help her re-pack the macaroons. I went over, and she was complaining that how inconsistent the macaroons were, how ugly we packed it and stuff. I was helping her to re-pack and then she asked me to give her a pair of gloves and she will do it herself. Fine then. Guess what? She was full of praise when she saw the macaroons yesterday. The macaroons were supposed to be picked up yesterday but she didn't pick it up. So, we can only keep it in the chiller till she picks it up. The macaroons took up so much space in our chiller that the others had to find space to squeeze the other items and in the end, they made a mess in the chiller. Who ended up packing and cleaning the chiller? I did. Fuck that!

At the end, my chef did debrief and he was telling us that we should be puntual and stuff when there's function. I coulddn't take it so I trashed it out with him. Then, I made him apologised to me for what he did when in the fit of anger.

Despite having such a lousy day, I looked forward to dinner at home cause today it's a Wednesday. My parents don't work on Wednesdays and I get to eat dinner and home. Who knows that when I reached home, my mum told me that we are eating canned curry and otah for dinner. Seriously, it was such a disappointment! I always come home for dinner and Wednesdays eventhough most of the time my mum will cook the same dish over and over again. I come back home cause I want to eat home cooked food. I don't get to eat them everyday since I was 11. I always have my 3 meals outside so I really want to eat home cooked food damn badly. When I was expecting dinner at home to make my day and it ended up being such a disappointment, my day can be concluded to be damn fucked.

Time to summarise what I've learn in school today. I'm not supposed to fight for my rights. It will be always my fault when I'm the innocent party. It's part of the daily routine to be scolded for nothing, get injuries cause people are frustrated, take all the blame and shit.

Argh! What's becoming of the world? Fuck that! -'-

2010-12-12T21:33:00.003+08:00

Oh well, I realised that I haven't been blogging for quite some time. I got so much to update! Hmm, where shall I start?

I've been thinking. What stopped me in May to go talk to ♥? I first saw him in Vision, during my dining etiqutte. The first thing that caught my eyes were his fuck bands on his wrist. I was wearing those fuck bands as well. Next, I saw his face! Omg, that was when I got really distracted during my dining etiqutte. He's charming man! I kept telling Aina how cute he looked and I just couldn't take my eyes of him. At that day, I was hoping that he come and serve me but he didn't. I saw him talking to Marcus and Miss Oliveiro and I was wondering why didn't he talk to me as well. I was the hostess leh! Then he disappeared into the pantry ): After the dining etiquette, I often see him in school. I once saw him outside school from the second floor and I went " OMG! Look! It's him! So cute!"

I see him around pretty often but I didn't go talk to him. However, I found out his fb, through Z. Lol. I used to like Z really a lot, until I realised that he lied to me. One thing that I hate most, is that I treat people sincerely and they treat me like shit. Fuck you all! Anyway, I saw on his fb that he's attached. So, I gave up. Well, I didn't want to break people up. That's being pathetic. There was this time when I was standing outside Pastry IS talking with Farelynn and she said Hi to him. I was like "Wtshit. She knows him?" Then, I didn't see him around for quite some time. He's at charcoal when I'm in school. But, there are some times when I see him at the deli. Heh heh!

Soon, it was my turn to go to charcoal. Things kinda change a lot. I started going clubbing and I saw him once at Zirca, when I went with JD & co. Then, I started stalking his fb and I realised that his home club is Zirca. Hahaha! I'm such a stalker right? I went Zirca and Rebel quite often with Adel that time, till things got screwed up. Read my previous post and you'll know la.

It was 3 weeks ago when I'm supposed to go clubbing with him. Cause before that, I went with Adel and Jy on Tuesday and I saw him there. I was drunk that time so I can only remember seeing him and 2 other guys standing near me. The next day, he posted something on my fb wall and I replied. On friday, Jy told me that he wanted my number so I gave. It was then when he persuaded me to go clubbing on Saturday and I agreed to it. However, on that Saturday we were supposed to club, shit happened and we went drinking at Sahara instead. He didn't text me after that ):

On the following Saturday, I got bored cause no one goes clubbing with me so I decided to go ton with Jy. Seriously, ton-ning with them was bored as shit. The topic just revolves around Alan, and Alan and Alan. Nothing else. Worst, Jy, Loewe and his gf, all KO in the end. But, the nice thing is that he was there. I was falling asleep but he didn't let me sleep. He asked me to look into his eyes and I got really mesmerised. We started talking nonsense and we were both so awake, laughing and getting goosebumps at that time. Hahaha! We then went off for breakfast at Long John Silver and we were taking the train back. However, I didn't want to leave so I asked if he mind going Orchard. He didn't so we spent one whole afternoon at Orchard. Then, we went to Alexis's place and after that, we chilled at the park till the stars came out. Awww (:

Starting on Monday, I've been coming out of Sweet Delight to see him. But, I didn't leave my duties aside. I finished my work and was free. So, I came out to see him :D However, some people are jealous of us and they exaggerate things. A hug and a kiss on the lips became "hugging, touching, hands all over, roll tongue and more". What the fuck?! Seriously, the withered flower should date the unwanted sicko. They won't get so jealous of us then. Fuck your life! :D

I spent last Friday, Saturday and Sunday with him and I really love the cuddles we had. I met his bros and we get along well! Nice! :D We were at Nicolas's place and Nicolas is a nice guy. Blonde hair, blue eyes. (Y) I like his friends! They are all so friendly! (:

It was his study week this week. I didn't really get to see him in school but he would come all the way down to meet me. So nice of him yea? It made me speechless when I see how much he cares for me. I feel really cherished and loved by him. I just spend yesterday with him chilling at Balmoral Plaza. I didn't see him for the whole of friday and I missed him so much ): Yesterday wasn't a good day for him. He argued with his mum, got into fights and he was boiling with anger. But I'm glad that his anger dispersed when he saw me. We were both standing in the middle of the pathway, smiling like 2 idiots. Seriously, I think that we are a cute couple! :D

Although we are only together for 2 weeks, it felt much more longer to me. I didn't feel the same when I was with my chinese ex. I feel myself being more attached to him with each passing day. Like, I can barely survive if I don't see him. I'm just so crazily in love with him. Everyday in my mind, it's Remy, Remy and Remy. He completes my life. He makes me feel that I'm of a top priority. Of course, I know that he will need his own free time. I won't expect him to spend 24/7 with me. That's just too demanding.

XXVIII; a special number which means a lot to us ♥ Je t'aime Remy!

2010-11-21T08:33:00.008+08:00

Okay, it's very happening yesterday. Got tons to say so I shall start from Friday night. Well, come on. It's a Friday night. Ever since I started clubbing 3 weeks ago, I didn't missed out any Fridays. But, because something happened in A's family, I didn't go clubbing on Friday. R asked J for my number so as to convince me to go clubbing with them. R texted me and stuff and I finally agreed to going clubbing with them. Cause it's basic courtesy not to reject if the person is really sincere.

Then came Saturday and J told me that Al had put our names on the Zirca's guest list. Saturday night and I'm all dressed up, waiting to go into Zirca. When I went to check for my name, I was told that my name was not there. Wtshit. It turns out to be that the person never check properly ._. After wasting like 20 minutes outside Zirca, I finally got my stamp, together with R & co. But, the problem came. J couldn't get in. She's underage. Although her name is on the guest list, she need her identity card to be checked still. She told the person that she didn't bring and she was refused entry. So, she tried to enter from the main queue. Cause that cute bouncer there recognises me so maybe she can sneaked in. But there! She was refused entry again! So, we came up of the idea of getting her to enter from @#&? . I lend her my IC, hopefully she can get in. But, she was stopped. My IC got retained by the person there so I have to go and collect it back.

When I went up to the lady (the one who checks guest list), she was like "What?!", damn loud. I smiled and I said politely "May I have my IC back?" "OH! SO IS YOUR IC LA?! YOUR IC STILL LEND HER HUH?!" "Er, may I have my IC back please?" "YOU THINK WHAT? YOU ASK ME GIVE I GIVE AH? YOU SINGAPOREAN DON'T KNOW MEH? MUST DO SOMETHING FIRST LA!" "What do you want?" "CALL POLICE LA! YOU THINK WHAT?" Then J told her, "Sorry, but we first time. Give chance can?" Then she stared at me, "YOU GOT STAMP ALREADY?" "Ya, I have." "YOU COME!" Then she pulled me to one side, damn fucking hard, and start vandalising my Zirca's stamp by stamping more than 10 times on the Zirca's stamp, damn damn damn fucking hard. Then, she was talking via the earpiece and she was describing me. As she talked, she was laughing damn fucking evilly. We stood there for like 10 minutes before she finally threw my IC back at me. Get this fact, she threw it at me -'-

Get the whole story? I know it's our fault to try to sneak in with fake ID. I know that it's illegal. But, I'm not the only person who does that right? Everyone is doing that too. Why are those people granted entry? Just because they are foreigners and we are not? -'- IF you could let a 17 year old girl go in, why can't J go in too? That girl was just queuing in front of J and she act cute with the @#&? bouncer and she got in. And J can't get in? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? That mother fucking bitch at @#&? really behave like a typical ~~chao ah lian~~ , I mean chao lao lian when she was talking to me. She was yelling and shouting at me, and behaving like a total bitch. Well, @#&? should sack her. It downgrades the reputation you see. She looked "presentable" with her super-uber-ultra-thick-like-10-layers-of-paint-on-a-mouldy-piece-of-wall make-up but her actions and words really ruin her "presentable" looks. She totally looked like an evil witch when she was vandalising my hand by stamping damn fucking hard and of course, her evil laugh.

We went back to Zirca and I was denied entry. I tried to get a re-stamp and I was questioned. I explained to the Zirca lady that the person at @#&? vandalised my stamp and stuff and in the end, I got myself blacklisted. It turns out that that bitch from @#&? already informed Zirca and my IC was taken by them, once again. We waited and finally I got my IC back and I left. It's okay, I don't give a damn. But, I just don't like their service attitute. It SUCKS! -'- Fuck you Zirca! Fuck you @#&?! It's not that there are only 2 clubs in the whole Singapore. I'm not going back there again, though @#&? used to be my favourite. Hey, it used to. Now it ain't. I got bored of the same place, same crowd anyway. After 4 or 5 times at Zirca and @#&?, it's time to change to a new place. It's your lost to not earn money from me. And, this is for you --> -'- FUCK YOU!!

R & co could jolly well get back in and abandon us but they didn't. R said that he's gonna fuck Zirca and @#&? cause we ain't coming back. Hey, he's a regular and he spends much there. So, if they lose him, I believe that they lose quit a lot. Awwww, too bad. Your daddy is fucking pissed off so you can only sit down at one corner and cry about the loss! (: Anyway, really nice and gentlemen of him to go drinking with us at Sahara. We drank shots of Blue Magic, I think. It's nice la ;) Truth or dare and of course, all of us played dare all the way. Damn fun, cause R is really a daredevil :D The way he plays is really firece. Singaporeans are really lousy when compared to caucasians :/

Overall, yesterday night was fucking bored and damn fucked up. I spent $15 cabbing down and I didn't get to club at all -'-

So what if I got blacklisted? No big deal seriously. You wanna call police, go ahead. I ain't scared. It's my first time and if you really call police, you're so gonna get yourself into deep shit. Cause, there are underage clubbers inside @#&? and besides losing money during raid, you'll lose job too. Boss confirm will kaopeh you say why you disgrace @#&? . Your father and mother never teach you manners or you don't know how to listen to them? What a disappointment! How old already still behave like a small kid. You think you loud I will scared ah? You think you threaten me I will scared ah? You think you older than me I will scared ah? Get this into your fucking head! I WON'T BE THREATENED! I ain't afraid of you! Being loud doesn't mean that you are right, bitch! Besides, I could sue you for public humiliation. AND, I'm gonna request for a law to be imposed on you. Because of your barbaric behaviour and your super-uber-ultra-thick-like-10-layers-of-paint-on-a-mouldy-piece-of-wall make-up, I suggest that go get yourself killed :D

2010-11-18T18:55:00.006+08:00

Everyone seems to be in bad mood today. Why? Today, there's so much yelling at production. What the fuck is this? LOL, seriously can't stand it. It doesn't mean that you will win the arguement if you are loud. You will only win the arguement if your reasoning is good. Why don't people see this point? They fucking think that being loud will win. Wtshit la ._.

First, early in the morning, my chef lost his temper at Adelene and me for don't what shit. I couldn't be bothered so I just let it go. It sucks to get yelled early in the morning. It spoils my day but what can I do?

Second, it was after lunch break. Something cork up and the items for my EC (Event Catering) didn't came. My chef was raising his voice at Aiy Don and I stepped in to stop him. Oh please. It's her first time doing that kind of purchase order. And, my chef did not let us check the order form. I wouldn't say that he's the only one at fault. Both parties are at fault yea? Cause it's always negligence when certain things go wrong. He was raising his voice at me and he was scolding me for interferring. Wtf sia! Why can't you talk nicely? In the end, I won the battle. It's like duh. Cause, being loud doesn't mean that you are right.

Lastly, it was during the end of production. People want to go back home yet they don't want to help with the cleaning. Some people were asking me to help but hello, how the fuck do I help to clean the oven area when there are already so many people crowding there? "Then you can help them pack what!" Oh please, it's like already got so many fucking hands there. And, the oven area is not very big. How do I help them when I don't even have a place to stand near the motherfucking small table? "You can clean flour box and wash the trolley! It's your duties and not ours lor. " Seriously, I didn't know that it was under my duty. Now that I know, I will do my duties even better alright? NO NEED to yell -'- And, it's not that I don't want to help. I was doing my EC right? When you guys were doing your EC, WE HELPED YOU TO CLEAN UP THE MESS, ON THE PREPARATION DAY AND ON THE ACTUAL DAY. Did you guys thank us? NO. So, just keep your mouth shut. And, I did help with the cleaning of the trolley. You can't say that I just stood there and do nothing, sucker -'- And, I was told that if you are in charge of the sink area, you just clean and wash whatever shit that is there. So, why do you keep asking who used the tart shells when she already replied that she will wash it after she finished unmoulding the tarts? It's your duty to clean them anyway. Why be so lazy and keep asking? You really got her irritated and, both of you lost your temper. YELLING again and throwing of tart shells. Wtf -'-

And the last thing about this whole fucked up day is that for my EC tomorrow, it's gonna be a half day. Deli will only be open till 1pm. Although sales is not counted, our EC is already affected cause others' EC is on a Thursday ( a lot of business) and ours is on a Friday ( slow business). People get a full day while we get a half day. Omg, it's so ~~fair~~ to us -'- But who cares? They say that sales is not counted then so be it. I couldn't be bothered about it. As long as I did my best, who cares about the outcome yea?

The conclusion is, everyone is in a bad mood and they yell at others. So childish, and no standard. This is shitty man. No matter how frustrated you are, you don't lose your temper at others. If you do, it just proves how uncivilised you are. And, you reason with logic. You don't reason with volume. I can't be bothered to talk to barbarians. If you wanna yell at me, then get lost. I don't want to lower my standard.

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Alright, enough of the rantings. Now, get back to my EC. My group will be doing eight items tomorrow.

Profiterols
Paris breast
Egg tart
Fruit tart
Cornflake cookies
Chocolate chip muffins
Macaroons (Lemon curd, Stawberry and Peanut butter)
Tako (with corn)

What's so special about my EC items? Well, everything is petit! Isn't it awesome? You won't want to eat sweets (pastries and not the candies) that are humongous right? Especially macaroons, it's damn sweet. If it's big, you can sick of it. But if it's small, you will find it so irresistable and just keep popping it into your mouth. Haha! I'm awesome right? I came up with this petit theme. Although almost all the items can be found eveyday, the size differs! And, it's not expensive okay? Mix and match, 6 for $2. It's so much cheaper. You get to try all different items too! :D

2010-11-17T22:22:00.004+08:00

Emo kids everywhere. Tsk, is it still the trend to be emo? What the fuck sia. Why people can't get over things that has past? Well, this post is for those who have absolute zero confidence. You seriously need to stop those emo-ing shit and look at this beautiful world. To you-know-who, I ain't just talking about you. This is for another friend too.

Well, why bother about what others think of you? You are alive in this world not because you are living for anyone else. You are only living for yourself. People criticise you, accept it. If you can't accept criticism, leave in a own world of yours then. No one will bother about you then. You can continue to lie to yourself or whatever shit. No one cares.

If you think you suck, you really suck then. Why do you want to be a loser? The world is actually a beautiful place. Depending on your perception, your view changes. If you bother about what those childish ass says, then you are torturing yourself with their mean words. If people throw a lemon at you and suan you, you throw back a bag of lemons plus lime to suan them back. You don't LLST (lan lan suck thumb). You LLPMFAT (lan lan point middle finger at them). LLPMFAT is the way, if people criticise you too badly. If it's because of how the others see you and you lost confidence in yourself, you can go bang your head against the wall. In this way, you won't get to hear what they say about you. Learn to accept yourself. After that, you love yourself. You don't give yourself up no matter what. If you do, it's like even before the war starts you already surrender. When the enemy throw a bomb at your territory, you commit suicide even before the bomb explodes. If it's me, I'll kick the bomb back and run! I won't let them defeat me so easily.

No one is born perfect. How do people seems so perfect to others? It's because of their confidence. When you have the confidence, everything you do just seems so right. The way you carry yourself and stuff, others will just find you simply amazing. If you see all these criticism as obstacles in your life which prevent you from doing any better, will you overcome these obstacles and move on? You will right? Obstacles are part and parcel of your life. There ain't anyone who has never encounter an obstacle. People overcome obstacles and as they overcome them, they become more matured. They know how to overcome difficult situations and stuff. Take me for example. I don't give a damn about how others want to see me. Cause I seriously can't be bothered with immatured people. I ain't saying that I'm super matured or what but at least I did my best to not let them affect me.

There are times when we feel like giving up. The only thing you can do is to smile with teeth, and let the unhappiness go. Like this --> :D

You tell me. Are you going to be an artist in the future? If not, don't bother sitting down at one corner and draw circles. Even if you are going to be an artist, a good artist don't just only draw circles right? There is a difference between one who is optimistic, and one who is pessimistic. Why be a pessimist? Be an optimist! An optimist live life to the fullest, and is always happy. An pessimist live life in agony, and is always inferior. Which do you wanna be? Optimist or pessimist? After my post, if you are still going to continue being a loser and sucker, then so be it. You will find that you lose out a lot in the future. We are all so young. You have how many more years till 90 years old? Are you going to live in agony and bother about what those fuck-tards say for decades of years? You ain't right? So, come on! Give yourself a double boost of confidence! Every morning, you wake up thinking that today is going to be awesome! Even if it's a lousy day, you jut grumble about it and stop. You won't and shouldn't let it affect you for too long. You-know-who, you know that I lost $50 a couple of days ago. I got over it. Although a bit heart pain but what can I do? I just grumble and sua la! Actually, it's more than $50. Cause last term I lend $50 to someone but I never got it back. Money is secondary. It can be earn back. But, youth can't be earn back. Once it's over, it's over! Time won't reverse back for you. So, live happily everyday! By the time you die, the happy memories you have will be so much. Rather than having a truckload of unhappy memories, why not covert the unhappy memories into happy memories? In this way, when you reminisce about the past, it will be happy flashbacks!

Well, I took this effort to write a post for you two. Don't lose confidence in yourself alright? Cheers to happy people who smile genuinely! :D

2010-11-14T12:06:00.002+08:00

I might not be the first girl you liked. I might not be the first girl you held hands with. I might not be the first girl you hugged. I might not be the first girl you kissed. I might not be the first girl you had. I might not be the first for your everything. But I want to be the first whom you would think of when you are troubled. I want to be the first whom you would share your happiness with. I want to be the first one you would think of every time you open your eyes when you wake up.

If I didn't care about you, I won't smile because of you. If I didn't care about you, I won't become so fragile. If I didn't care about you, I won't mind every little things that you do. If I didn't care about you, I won't daydream about you. If I didn't care about you, I won't remember every word you said. If I didn't care about you, I won't be jealous when I see girls buzzing around you. If I didn't care about you, my heart won't ache for you. If i didn't care about you, I won't bother asking you silly questions. If I didn't care about you, I won't want to hear your voice. If I didn't care about you, I won't want to receive your texts and calls. If I didn't care about you, I won't miss you. If I didn't care about you, I won't let my imagination run wild. If I didn't care about you, I won't feel insecured. If I didn't care about you, I won't perservere till now.

But you don't feel the same way as me. To you, I'm just a passer-by in your life. But to me, you meant much more. I kept a diary about you after I met you shortly. Then I switched to a blog which is customised for you. All those little memories, it's recorded. Now, I see no point in hanging onto this one-sided love. It's time for me to let go. All those memories, will be forgotten. Goodbye.

2010-11-02T23:04:00.005+08:00

Well, it's been some time since I really blog about something wow. Been so lazy and tired to blog, cause no one really reads my blog anyway. Hmm, let's see. Where shall I start?

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Alright, I shall take it from here. Let me ask, how many of you out there really like yourself? You like yourself for who you are. You like your strengths. You like your weaknesses. You just like everything about you. Out of 100 people, majority will find faults with themselves. There may be, or may not be that someone, who accept everything about themself. Well, the reason is obvious. Sub-consciously, people are always comparing with others. This "die also must compare" attitude is rooted deeply in all humans. However, there may be some who choose to direct their attention and energy on something else. Allow me to explain with a real life example. Things might get clearer then. Girls are constantly comparing everything about them with other girls. May it be looks, figure or the number of boyfriends. They just couldn't stop comparing. Students are constantly comparing results. Even if it's just a small test, they must compare the marks. (Lol! If not, they might just die on the spot!) I'm not being riduculous. I'm stating a fact which everyone knows. You must be wondering. Why the heck am I talking about all these comparing and stuff. Well, I'm just trying to say that the root of all these "comparing" is inferiority. This is what I feel. I feel that people start comparing because they feel inferior in certain ways. That's why they wanna compare something they are good at with others. Realise something? Even before others look down on them, they condemn themsleves first. If not, inferior complex wouldn't even exist yea?

Today, I was talking to my friend about going to clubs. I then casually made a remark that whether going with her to different clubs will make a difference cause I don't feel high at all. I want to dance at the podium but when I ask her along, she just decline. And I said that I don't see the point why when the podium is empty, she doesn't want to go up with me but when the podium is packed like sardine, she wants to go up. I added that the floor is already so packed so dancing at the podium will give us more space. From what I had said, there wasn't any hidden message or anything that is sacarstic. However, my friend took what I said so negatively and started to be so defensive. She said that she didn't dare to go up to the podium cause she didn't want people to look at her. She only want to go up when there are other people to hide her. I'm not as fat as her so I can go up and dance. Look, this is inferior complex. Maybe to her, being fat is an embarrassment. Hey you, I got to tell you. Being fat is not a sin yea? You don't have to bother about what others think of you. You should always listen with an open heart and mind. If it's criticism, accept it positively. In this way, you can improve. Life will be miserable if you are so pessimistic. Everything also 看不开。何必跟自己过不去？

And, if you didn't realise, I'm telling you now. You have the tendancy to lose your temper at the someone whom you feel is suan-ning you. Like today, you damaged the cake by accident and I just "OMG". You got so defensive and was like “你 OMG 什么？Just blowtorch 就可以了what. ” Hello? I wasn't even saying anything negative about you yea? It's just a normal reaction that I will "OMG". Why must you be so defensive? And, when I told you not to feel inferior and stuff, you immediately went “你很肥可是有人跟你跳舞，跟你拿号码。我没有嘞！”Well，this is a personal insult but I didn't flare up right? I know that I'm fat. So? It ain't a sin. It's inner beauty that attracts people. As I'd told you before, wisdom and knowledge is something that will last. Beauty doesn't last, unless you go for plastic surgery. You can't deny the fact that there are people trying to know you at the clubs. It's you, who push them off. You get so defensive and push guys off when they try to know you and now you are telling me that the guys look down on you that's why no one come to dance with you? Hello, what are you saying man? It totally makes no sense to me. You fend people off yet you want people to come and make friends with you? Wtshit is that man?

You may say, it's because of my personality that I can take things easily. Well, this may be true but most importantly, I love myself! I love everything about myself! Absolutely everything! There may be some things that I'm dissatisfied but I dont' give myself up. Either I improve on it, or just accept it. I accepted the fact that I have a heavy bottom. So what if I have gigantic tighs? It won't affect my life that much. Afterall, it's my tighs. Who cares about what others say? They ain't perfect too. If they can find flaws in me, I believe that I can find more flaws in them.

Lastly, I want to apologise if you seriously think that I am suan-ning you. I have to say that I am not suan-ning you but if you feel it that way, there's nothing I can do besides apologising. Learn to be more positive, and not over defensive. Yours is an case of over-defensiveness. Even if I'm not talking about you, you assume that I am talking about you cause you see the same faults in yourself and get so defensive. This isn't the way really.

Life will be better if you love yourself! :D

2010-10-28T21:38:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to myself! :D

2010-10-25T19:24:00.002+08:00

这是特别写给袁宏毅的一个post.

你自己告诉我，我们到底有多久没讲话了？就连一个短讯也没有。每次碰到你我瞬间就变成空气。你的视而不见，都让我好伤心。我到底做错了什么？我问了你好几次。但是你的答案总是"You think too much." Am I really thinking too much? All those excuses you gave for not talking to me just makes me feel so disappointed with you. Why bother about what your friends say? 我们为什么不能继续当朋友？就拿今天好了。我这么大个人坐在你面前吃饭，你连一句“Hello” 都没说。是谁在我身上施了魔法？让我在你面前就会人间蒸发。好厉害哦 -'- 虽然我们认识没多久，但我们始终认识，不是吗？你这样对我，那当初何必来认识我？时间不会停止，也不会倒流。Your actions just brought misery to me. 我是个有血有泪有感情的人。我并不是机器人。我无法像你一样，把活生生的一个人当作是透明的。我办不到。你一天继续把我当空气，我就伤心多一点。直道有一天我有办法忘记你这个朋友，否则我还会希望你不要把我当空气。一句话，我们能继续当朋友吗？

2010-10-15T21:59:00.000+08:00

我的风生病了): 你赶快好起来吧！

2010-10-11T20:10:00.002+08:00

Stop giving me the cold shoulder. I don't like it at all, seriously.

2010-10-03T17:15:00.004+08:00

Oh well, my sister argued with me yesterday. And now, she showing me attitude. Come on, it's so childish! Know what we argued about? She said that I guai lan her and I kept on kpkb. And guess what? She scolded me on fb! When I saw what she post on fb, I confronted her. Although it's her freedom to post whatever shit she wants online, I feel that she needs to justify her accusations. We had a show down and of course, I won. (Y) I proved to her how strong my arguements could be and she could not even retaliate. So, what she could do now is to attitude me. Fine, I don't give a damn anyway. One of her friends added me on fb just now. I just asked her if Amanda was her friend and did she went to her house to study. She replied me in a fucked up tone. I kept quiet. I asked again, why did her friend add me on fb? I don't even know her. She replied back with attitude, "You can don't accept de lor!!" Wtshit
-'-

I think I've been plagued by the 衰神. At charocal, there are a few people with attitude problem. At home, my sister is showing me her attitude. Oh my god! I'm so suay!! -'- When people are hot headed, they can't make good decisions. So whatever emotions that come when people are pissed, I shouldn't take it to heart. I can forgive them if they don't mean what they say. However, I think that they are really way too much when they behave as if they are right and eveyone else are wrong when they are clear minded. This just shows me how matured they are. Tsktsk! What's their problem man?

I did not deny that I am at fault too. I am already doing my best to make peace with my sister and if she does not appreciate my effort, it's not my problem. That's it, end of story. Full stop.

As for the charcoal's "big shot" wannabes, all I can say is please get your facts right. You know nothing and you condemn the innocent. Seriously, such actions just irks me. I can't be bothered too. I got way too many things to do and such meaningless issues does not make an impact on me. I won't be affected or whatever shit.

2010-09-28T20:44:00.001+08:00

Stop ignoring me. I don't want to wait for a month or worst, 3 months. You know how much you mean to me, don't you?

2010-09-27T21:35:00.003+08:00

First day at charcoal and guess what? I saw my favourite guy there! He's my love man! :D He totally make my day! I stole glances at him whenever I could and smile like an idiot. Haha! What an attractive guy. I must grab him before others do!

Anyway, charcoal is plain bored when there's no one. Just staring at each other and nothing else ._. In the morning, there's an event. The oven is damn small and slow and we were asked to hurry up and served the individually plated pastries within 15 minutes. Hello, it's not that we don't want to be fast. It's the oven alright? There's so many mini pastries to bake but the oven has limited space. How fast can we get? Next, was the afternoon event. We plated 44 plates of desserts and it's not enough. On the spot chop chop plate another one. Hah, then still got "I just pass you the order for 10 plated dessert and I want it the next minute" attitude there. WTF? Seriously, give us the order in advance la. At least 10 minutes earlier if there's more than 5 orders? Hah, their brains not functioning well enough.

2010-09-17T21:22:00.002+08:00

Exam is around the corner yet I don't have the feeling to start studying. Although I said that I will mug real hard since don't know when, my actions didn't match my words. Out of a sudden, I wonder how well do others really know me. Do they just know me or do they really know me? Well, here's a test. If you got 90% correct, I'll say that you know me well. If you get 100%, you really know me inside out.

#1 What is my favourite food?
(a) Ramen
(b) Tom Yum
(c) Curry Rice
#2 What is my favourite song?
(d) 嫁给我
(e) 够爱
(f) 简单爱
#3 What is my favourite colour?
(g) Red
(h) Yellow
#4 Who is my favourite super hero?
(i) Superman
(j) Batman
(k) Spiderman
#5 What is my daily routine?
(l) Facebook
(m) Blogshop
(n) Watch drama
#6 What is my worst habit?
(o) Buy things without checking price tag
(p) Stock useless items in my cupboard
(q) Fall asleep during class
#7 What is my favourite fastfood?
(r) Popeye's
(s) Subway
(t) Burger King
#8 What is my favourite drink?
(u) Soya Milk
(v) Pepsi
#9 What is my hidden talent?
(w) Stick out my tonguue and touch my elbow
(x) Stick out my tongue and touch my nose
#10 What am I capable of?
(y) Stay awake for hours
(z) Sleep for hours

Hah, I must be damn bored to come up with such a quiz. No harm trying right? I'll give you a treat on my new fav if you get all correct! (:

2010-09-11T19:00:00.002+08:00

I just ate a truckload full of food for dinner. Wow, I must be insane! Wednesday was the last day of lesson. On Thursday and Friday, I just spent my time watching drama and doing nothing else. Next week is self study week and I doubt I will study. Most prolly, I will be watching drama! And of course, there are consequences. During the first term in Shatec, I was the top student. Top student leh! Never in my entire school life was I a top student. Perhaps only top 20 laa. During the 2nd term, my term 1 GPA is totally wasted cause I screwed up my term 2 exams real badly. This term is term 3 and people are already overtaking me. But it's okay laa, I don't really care. Who ask me to be so lazy? I guess I ate too much for dinner to the extent that I feel like vomitting and my head is spinning. God damn it!

Cheer up, my boy. I'm always here if you need me (:

2010-09-03T01:32:00.004+08:00

Thanks for depriving me of my sleep -'- Actually, I need not stay up till so late today. If people would cooperate and get things done, I won't be blogging at this time. I asked them to have picture, ingredient list, description of their product and work plan in their report. Send it to me by yesterday, and I will collate. Some people got no time to do, some people don't understand instruction. Only my partner cooperate with me. What the hell? No time? How long would a report take you? Promise to send me today's afternoon. In the end, send me at 10 plus at night. -'- Don't understand instructions? How could that be? This ain't the first time we are doing a report. When it comes to printing, EVERYONE HAS NO PRINTER. Fine, I print. I asked for the slides to be plain, so that I won't waste my ink on printing the coloured layout. PURPLE slides. For fuck?! Now my printer ran out of ink, thanks to inconsiderate people. Who's sharing the cost with me? NO ONE. -'-

2010-08-31T22:05:00.004+08:00

My blog's dead for weeks. So I'm here to revive it! *Blows* TADAA! :D Alright, my mind ain't clear right now. I'm drowning in tons of work. But, I'm resurfacing soon! Tomorrow after Supervision presentation, I still have a Asian Sweet presentation and networking test on friday. I still need to prepare for my Communication Skills project and wine project is due this thursday. More than half of my class is rushing out the wine project. There's like only 12 people in class today. The remaining 12 ponned the class. Hah. Well, I ain't rushing out my projects like my other classmates. It's all within my control man!

2010-08-21T22:07:00.002+08:00

Oh great! On thursday, I didn't have school. I wanted to do my beverage project but I ended up watching my drama. Today, I resolute to do my project. Instead, I completed the final episode of my drama. Procrastination is really gonna get me into deep shit soon. Eventhough I know that I'm procrastinating, I have no intention to correct it. Everyone seems to have started doing. All I'd done so far, is to use Alphabetos to form the name of the grapes. Good job done eh? Hah, tsk.

2010-08-17T21:55:00.001+08:00

Imy ):

2010-08-12T01:18:00.004+08:00

Rawr! I don't like people who abuse me. You ain't anybody to me, just a insignificant person in my life. I ain't your maid, why do you always make me run errands for you? Damn you alright? Damn you! If it's once or twice, I don't really mind. But what the shit is like always? Hey, get your facts right. I'm not born to run errands. -'- I'm sick of doing such stuffs for you. You can say whatever you want, I don't give a damn. Cause, I'm not obliged to do anything for you. You ain't worth any seconds of my precious time.

Perhaps I should isolate myself from this boring world. Everything is so daily routine. How the heck are there so many indecisive people out there? Why do people always follow the norm? A world that is ruled by no one, where everyone makes their own choices decisively. A world where everyone is so unique and will stand out no matter what. A world where there isn't any injustice. A world with superheroes. A world where everyone knows kungfu. A world where there's super cool aritifical intelligence. Everyone will be busy as they need to help those pitiful people on planet EARTH. Planet Superunisivekungfuai (Super-uni-sive-kung-foil), a world that where I truely should belong. I feel alien on a planet that totally clashes with my personality. Immature shits everywhere, tsk.

2010-08-08T19:32:00.002+08:00

我知道你心里有个人但谁是哪个人
你总是笑着不承认
有时候真的很想问想从你的眼神
知道我有没有份

是不是你心里的人当然你不用明白承认
只要用你的眼神默认
我就可以再往前多进个几分
找个理由来等你从朋友变情人

其实我好几次想要开口对你说
爱情的滋味就好像玛琪朵
甜蜜的烙印在我心口虽然他只拉了你的手
只是摸摸你的头悸动却一直跟著我

雨刚下过这一个夏天显得特别闷热当你微笑看着我
那时候世界突然间静止一分多钟那一个moment怎么去形容

爱情就化成玛琪朵

2010-08-08T10:28:00.002+08:00

A nice morning was spoiled by a door ._. I went into the toilet and close the door. While peeing, I realised that the door wasn't close properly and there was a gap. I just left it that way. After brushing my teeth, I opened the door and it just came off. While fixing the door, I injured my finger. Kena kiap by the thing and there's a bruise now ): I'm off to bed now, super tired. * yawn*

P.S I left with reluctance this time.

2010-08-07T11:36:00.000+08:00

Everything feels so empty without you ):

2010-08-05T00:18:00.002+08:00

Ewwww! What's the problem man? OMG! Seriously is so childish laa -.- I don't understand your "logic" behind your actions. I can't believe it man! Super XJ,XL! Grow up laa!

2010-08-03T19:34:00.002+08:00

You made me disappointed once more. I don't know what else I could do besides leaving you alone. Even so, the love goes on!

2010-08-02T00:20:00.004+08:00

Argh! You are so busy chatting on msn and replying texts and got no time for me ): Alright then, I shall make a blog post while waiting for you yea? Recently, I've been wondering how many secrets I had. Well, quite a lot I guess. If exposed, some will get me into real deep shit. But who cares?
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Anyway, I'm searching for this guy. He's on the top of my wanted list.

#1 He comes and leaves without a trace, always leaving someone missing him badly.
#2 He got a machine gun hidden in his mouth which often made others speechless.
#3 He's forever popular and busy and this makes him hot on demand.

Well, there's more to mention but that ain't the key characteristics. Girls need to beware of him as he got the ability to capture hearts. No one actually knew how many hearts he captured.

2010-08-01T04:09:00.002+08:00

Yay! I ♥ you! :D

2010-07-29T23:15:00.000+08:00

Do you know how badly I miss you? ):

2010-07-26T01:06:00.000+08:00

我的风，我好想你！):

2010-07-22T19:59:00.002+08:00

I'm glad that everything turns out okay for you.

马小茜最后跟夏和杰在一起！好幸福！♥

2010-07-21T22:33:00.001+08:00

I believe strongly that your heart is with me. If not, why are so heartless?

2010-07-19T21:46:00.003+08:00

I realised that I couldn't bring myself to ignore you. Perhaps I just like you too much. You made me go crazy over you!

2010-07-18T20:06:00.003+08:00

I just woke up. My brain chose to shut bad memories out, so ask me nothing.

2010-07-18T08:43:00.004+08:00

昨天你打电话叫我过去找你时，我的心情是多么愉快。因为听到你的声音，想都没想就答应了。今天，我是带着多么沉重的心情回家。以前，我是带着舍不得离去。今天，我是巴不得快点回去。天才刚亮不久，还没到七点就被你叫醒。回家的路上，我一脸忧伤。昨天，我被你伤到了。真的被你伤到了。不知道是因为你说的话太狠了，还是因为你凶我。就算你心情再怎么不好，你也不应该那样对我。你凭什么凶我？到底凭什么？太过分了。难道我的真心只能换你的绝情吗？是我的一厢情愿纵容你吗？那好，我傻够了。我不会生气，因为我已原谅你。我告诉我自己，如果你牵我的手，我就原谅你。虽然只是牵了那么一下下，你还是牵了。所以，我不会生气。我只是很失望。你说我好像一整晚都在做噩梦，也许你说对了。昨天，你就是我的噩梦。我的脑海里一直浮现出你凶我的画面，真的让我好害怕，好无助。虽然是半清醒，但感觉还是很恐怖。因为根本没睡好，所以现在真的好累。就让我好好睡吧！最好睡醒后把一切都忘了。

2010-07-17T02:19:00.005+08:00

Beau
n.
1. a frequent and attentive male companion.
2. the boyfriend of a woman or girl.
3. a male escort for a girl or woman.
4. a dandy; fop.

From this definition, do you fall into the category of beau? A frequent and attentive male companion yea? Anyway, Did you not go back home yesterday? Where are you? I'm worried ):

There are many paths to happiness, and really not that many dead ends. I've decided to let you bring me there. Will you?

2010-07-16T18:55:00.005+08:00

Shh. Adrenaline took control of me just now. Anxiety just filled me when I couldn't find you. Oh no! I'm must be going crazy.

Love is defined as a simple number - The number of times I am willing to roll my eyes and laugh at your sacarsm. Cause I see your sacarsm as your strengh, and not weakness.

I've always wanted to ask you a question which I got no answer to. Now, I got the solution on getting the answer after some analysis. A scale of 1 to 5 to describe how I feel now,

1- Just curious
2- A little nervous about it
3-A little upset about it
4- On the verge of a panic attack
5- Having a panic attack

If I choose either 4 or 5, all I need to do is calm down and take a deep breath. After that, I just ask you.
If I choose 1, 2 or 3, I just ask you.
Hence, the answer to my question is with you. To know the answer, I must ask you. So, here's my question. Do you love me?

2010-07-15T21:21:00.003+08:00

When you cut me open, you will smile. Cause I'm filled with you.
You are always on my mind and you occupied my whole heart.

You didn't know, how badly I miss you every night.
You didn't know, how badly I want to call you every night.
You didn't know, how badly I want it to be your call when my phone ring.
You didn't know, how badly I want you to text me.
You didn't know, how worried I was when you fell sick.

Falling in love with you doesn't need a reason.
I love you for who you are, cause that's what my heart tells me.
I mind how you perceive me, and not how others see me.
I don't care what others say, cause I know I can't be bothered with immatured people.

One day, you will know. It all happen because of you.
I won't deny, I'm just in love with you.

2010-07-11T20:48:00.002+08:00

After so many hours of sleep, I'm finally awake. Uraguay VS Germany yesterday. Gosh, I almost got a heart attack! It's so thrilling! You really looked damn shag today. Tomorrow, after you watched the finals today, you will look even more zombified. Please rest well yea? I don't want you to turn into a zombie. When you were brushing your teeth yesterday, you looked so serious. I'm captivated by your seriousness (: Today, I must have seen your worst yea? Blue socks with black socks, messy hair, blur yet zombified look. Just now when I board the train, I saw you looking at me. Were you reluctuant to let me leave? I know that I'm reluctant to go ): Did you see it? That's a nice heart okay? Not 开开的. Te amo ♥

2010-07-09T21:50:00.002+08:00

I just don't understand it. Why do people form cliques? I'm not saying that people cannot form cliques but the problem of having cliques, is that you will and always stick to the same people. Take today's FHH project grouping for example. OMG, it horrible! Fuck your life (: "Okay, 我们一个 group then 你们一个 group. Then XX join 你们. YY 就 join 你们. Then 你们快点跟他们 form 一个 group. " Hmm, it seems that you are VERY domineering! You took everything into your hands and you left the others with no other choice. This is kinda unfair you see. However, I don't give a damn as I believe that as long as I do my own part, I will be given my due marks. Hence, I always prefer to do indivdual assignments. All assessment will be marked based solely on my own perforamance. Isn't this much better when such politics comes into place? Tsktsktsk, BWG.

2010-07-08T20:45:00.002+08:00

Oh my oh my. #$%^&#$^%#$@ Shhhh, I ain't gonna say anything here. ROAR!

2010-07-06T15:54:00.005+08:00

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high, there's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.

It's the land I went yesterday. I fell into a deep deep sleep yesterday, and didn't wake up till this morning.

Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come come true.

I dreamt of you yesterday. And true enough, I saw you today. Isn't it coincidental?

Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me.

I want to wake up in your arms. I'll feel blissed then.

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow why then, oh why can't I?

Let me fly high to the sky by giving me what I want.

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow why, oh why can't I?

Will we have a happy ending?

认真又潇洒的风是全世界凤玲最喜欢的人！❤

2010-07-01T22:39:00.003+08:00

WowWOWWOW. I don't know what's wrong with me today. It's been so long since I last broke out in cold sweat. I was on the bus just now. It was very packed and I was standing. Out of nowhere, I could smell something disgusting. It smells like puke, damn gross. Then, my hands starts to feel numb and a while later, my hands turned white. I broke out in cold sweat and I could't stand still. I was swaying and my head was spinning. White light flashing and I couldn't breathe. I held on all the way to my destination and when I got off the bus, my legs wobbled. Gosh, it's damn scary laa! I was all alone and I'm having all the symptoms of blacking out. It really freak me out. Low glucose level? I guess so. It ain't the first time such things happening to me. Just that my last broke out was quite some time ago. Blah,

My one week holiday is ending soon. Today is already thursday! *Rants* Anyway, I can't wait for next wednesday. I'm gonna see my orthodentist! Haha! It's been a month plus since I got a palate expander in my mouth. I came across many videos and forums saying palate expander hurt like hell and blah but for my case, it ain't really painful. I can feel slight pressure initially but afer a few days, I got used to the pressure. And I find it fun turning the screw. Although I can't pronounce some words properly and food get stucked in my mouth, I got used to it. The only bad thing about it is that it's ugly. When I smile, I have 4 silver "teeth". It's actually bands surrounding my teeth but who knows that I have a expander in my jaw? Oh well, nevermind. This makes me more unique I guess (: My upper jaw has expanded quite a bit and my slight underbite became a open bite? But braces is gonna fix it :D It's just that I don't know how long I need to wear the expander. It may be worn for 2-6 months depending on different cases.

Show me your teeth :D

2010-06-27T21:54:00.000+08:00

Goodbye.

2010-06-26T23:33:00.003+08:00

Oh my oh my! I'm turning nocturnal! ): I used to be a good girl. For 6 years, I woke up at 5.30am in the morning and will sleep before 11pm. Now, I won't wake up eventhough I know that I'm late for school and I can don't sleep for the whole night. Wtshit. This drastic change ain't good for me. Pimples popping out as usual and dark eye circles. Gosh, I'm gonna look like a zombified freak!!

Recently, I got a new addiction. And this addiction is wearing me out. But at least, it's keeping me occupied. fyi, I didn't rot for quite some time already (:

I realised, that I've always been living in a world with so many uncertainties. 我已经很久没有傻傻的笑了。我的一片风儿，imy ):

2010-06-25T16:03:00.001+08:00

The exams are finally over, but I'm not smiling. Why?

2010-06-23T21:56:00.002+08:00

Good luck! :D

2010-06-22T21:42:00.000+08:00

你会是我的召唤兽吗？

2010-06-22T00:49:00.002+08:00

Hey, I miss you.

2010-06-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

I'm falling sick. Oh no ):

2010-06-15T22:20:00.002+08:00

Life's a torment, when there are so many uncertainties.

2010-06-14T23:04:00.000+08:00

我的国王，我到底是不是你的皇后？

2010-06-13T09:50:00.002+08:00

You must be sleeping now. You said it. You are damn tired.
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The longest night have an end. My sweetest night ended when the sun rose.

2010-06-11T22:50:00.002+08:00

PHEW! All my major projects are finally done. I need not rush to meet any datelines now. This is cool. Hmm, let me see. Next week is supposed to be a silent week. But BUT BUT, I'm still going back to school. Awwwwwwww, this suck ):
Monday: POB lesson at 11am. After that, I'm free.
Tuesday: POB Final Practical Exam at 8.30am.
Wednesday: Elaborate Sweets Practical Exam at 8.30am.
Thurday: Whole day of Menu Planning.
Friday & Saturday: Not sure yet.
OMG laa! I still haven't do my work plan and my report! *faints*

Tomorrow, I'll be going to school. Will I get to see you after that?

2010-06-09T19:52:00.004+08:00

What's the problem man? Why do people always like to procrastinate? I'm not saying that I don't procrastinate but I know my limit, you see. For the sake of rushing out project reports, you people want to cancel demo lesson tomorrow. If we cancel the demo tomorrow, we'll be doin OJT for friday's IS. TSK TSK! This ain't the way! First of all, doing OJT is very slow! My IS is in the afternoon. So, if we do OJT, we will be damn slow and then, we will end later than usual. WTF?! I don't like this idea. I just find it a waste of my time to wait for those who haven't finish when I completed my products ages ago. I don't mind waiting for a while but if it's like an hour, my answer is an absolute NO NO! Come on! We are living in such competitive society. No one will slow down for you! You got to move faster and catch up with others!

ARGH! It's just so irritating! Why must the minority compromise with the majority when the whole thing ain't making any sense? This is what that happened to me recently! I felt so pissed man! WTF! WTF! WHAT THE FUCK!
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Oh please, get a life and stop bothering me! I really question your maturity when you behave like an ass. Stop disgracing yourself. You bring nothing but shame to your name (: You; KNL!

夏和杰还是孟成恩? Nah, 我要我的XZX (:

2010-06-09T00:37:00.003+08:00

KNL!

2010-06-05T02:30:00.002+08:00

我得了相思病。你知道吗？你就是我的灵丹妙药。
I feel cold at night. I need you to cuddle me to sleep ):

Who will be there for me? Who's gonna rescue me? I need you by my side, don't you understand?

I know I don't fit in that much, but I'm yours. Why won't you admit it?

Tell me, where do I stand? Do I have a place in your heart?

I'll be contented if you would just spend time with me. It would be a bonus if there's a happily ever after for us.

2010-06-05T00:18:00.002+08:00

日盼夜盼，终于等到这一天。难道你不想有这一天吗? My whole world came crashing down ):

2010-06-04T01:12:00.003+08:00

我的风，你在哪? I'm supressing my grievance ):

2010-05-29T18:49:00.005+08:00

Today was the most unfruitful day of the week. I spent hours waiting, just to take my tests. OMG! My time is precious! It's not meant to be wasted in such a way! ): But, everyone was waiting as well. So I shall not complain!

While I was waiting, my mind drifted away. It wandered all the way back to the past, where I used to share happy memories with different guys. All memories buried deep inside my heart suddenly became a film. And I was watching it. At the age of 16, I believed that you were my true love. You were different from the precious few. You loved me for who I am. And I truely loved you then. You gave me promises but you broke all of them. You broke my heart. When you left, you left me shattered and torn. I got out of it eventhough I was really brokenhearted. You didn't know how painful it was for me, did you? I did all I could to salvage our relationship and you left me 4 days before my birthday?! There were a few occasions when we both saw each other. But you chose not to say hi to me. To date, we didn't keep in contact for years. You must be feeling guilty for abandoning me eh?

At the age of 17, you stepped into my life. You were my crush when I was in secondary 1. I didn't expect us to be together, cause we don't talk much. But, we did got together. I don't know if you really love me, but I did love you then. However, things changed as time passes. You wasn't as loving as initaially. You would be great, if you put me as your first priority instead of your DOTA. Out of a sudden, you just went MIA. A year past and you resurfaced. I feel that you are a nice guy. You were there for me when I was feeling low. Why won't you be as sweet when we were together?

At the age of 18, I met you. Honestly, I felt that you are a jerk. The worst guy that I had ever met! Do you go around toying with girl's feelings? In short, you suck.

Next, it was you. I really like you a lot. But, your feelings for me ain't real. So, I got myself out of the whole mess before you get the chance to break my heart. When I was clearing my inbox today, I got the urge to text you cause I saw the messages you sent me. But, I held back. I knew that you wouldn't give a damn about me now. You were lovely and great. I miss those times we spent together though it was only a short period.

There were a few passerby in my life. I appreciate their love for me but I just don't feel the same way for them. Thanks for loving me!

I'm turning 19 this year. I don't want to get into a relationship that wouldn't last. I'm sick of my heart shattering everytime when I met a new guy. I met a really nice guy this year. Too bad he isn't mine. Perhaps, he was never meant to be mine. I miss those times when we had endless conversations. I miss those times when he was beside me. I haven't seen him for ages. How have you been? No doubt, he must have gotton busier. He won't have forgotten about me if he was that free. Little do you know, out of so many guys, I miss you the most! ):

It's going to be end of May soon. Time really flies. How I wish that time would stop at the time when I was 16. I had the sweetest memories then. "07 red and green; forever, Bonnie and Clyde." But, I'd aleady moved on. You were just a part of my past.

Alright, end of story. Actually, there's no ending yet. I waiting for my prince to write the ending together with me. Is it going to be like the fairytales? Where I'm asleep all alone in my icy cold bed and then a prince charming came along and give me a true love's kiss. Next, it's happily ever after. I'm waiting for this day to come :D

Argh! Are you guys her dog? Why do you guys always do her bidding? Can't you see that she's making use of you all? OMG!! Wake up please! Tsk!

2010-05-29T00:40:00.005+08:00

Dearest you,

I miss you terribly. I swear that the next time I see you, I will give you a long hug. You can choose to push me away, but I ain't going to let you go. You can choose to not love me, but I will continue loving you. I'm just not going to let go, cause I see you as mine.

With love,
me

Awww, ain't that sweet? :D
I'm missing someone too ): I haven't seen him for like a million of years. Does he misses me as much?

Alright, the weather nowadays is so damn fking hot that I am going to melt anytime I stepped out of my room ._. I feel like living in a blast freezer. I rather freeze to death than to melt under this kind of weather. I like the sun, but i hate it when I start to perspire! I'll stink man! OMG. Can't stand the thought that I stink. I must look good, and smell good at all times, you see.

Yesterday's etiquette test was so crap ._. I was the hostress and I was being forgotten! OMG. Some waiters damn fail can? They cleaned the bread crumbs off everyone's table except mine. They arranged the dessert fork and spoon for others except mine. And they almost forgot to ask me if I wanted sugar in my coffee! OMG. DAMN FAIL! But cannot really blame them. It's lots of hard work, to serve one person at a time. And worst, to serve such a big class. Blame it on my luck then ): Sat for menu planning test and I was the first one to leave the class. I didn't really bother studying. When I saw the paper, I just do which ever questions I could do and then handed in my paper. I then went to help out in the selection competition. OMG. I love it man! Just stand there and bai sui! Haha! Super love yesterday cause I still look pretty in chef uniform. I need not wear my chef cap and my hair is not messy! Haha! Can I be in such attire for my IS always? Then my hair won't be messy (: Then, I went to watch movie with Adrian & Co. Shrek 3 is so nice! :D "CATastophic and reDONculous!" HAHAHAHAHA!

Ohmy. My ♥Siaozhabor is not feeling well! Argh! She cannot fall sick laa! I'll miss her nonsense if she's sick ): GY is pissed now. Tsk! People, don't go overboard eh. Some people can't take jokes, cause they don't find it funny ._. It all started with his remark of I ♥ FG when he saw the banner at Iluma. Since he's feeling so damn pissed now, maybe I should just get out of his life so that you guys will stop teasing him? Awwww ):

Anyway, there is some weirdo out there who added me on fb, and thank me for adding him. WTH! When I replied back saying that it's him who added me and not me who added him, he -.- me and said that the accepting of his friend request is considered as adding him. Gosh! Adding him means I added him. Accepting his friend request means I accepted his request of asking me to be his friend and does not mean that I added him. If he thanked me for adding him on my friends list, it's still okay. But it wasn't the case! It meant another thing when he said that I added him ._. Oh boy! Please get your facts right.

Milk is feeling bored now. I asked him to count sheep. He told me that he wanted to count elephants. Cause they walked slower. OMG laa! Lame shit siol! He's so crapppy! HAHAHAHAHA! Bloody hell. He said that he's bored then I said that I'll talk to him. Then he jitao say he go sleep -.- When I say that he siao cause I'm going to talk to him then he going sleep, he said that he don't want to talk to me so say he wanna sleep. Then now he says that he's going to be a good guy and talk to me. Lame shit laa! Siao!

Tsk, what the problem man? If you find my liking of pages a nuisance cause it spams your news feed, feel free to delete me. I don't give a damn. Fb created fan pages for people to like it, isn't it? I just feel like clicking all of those cause people are spamming my news feed too. Some applies, and for the rest that don't apply, I just feel like liking it. Can I?

Oh well, enough of my rants. I'm going to enjoy my beauty sleep. A true love kiss will bring me back to where I belong.

2010-05-25T22:43:00.003+08:00

Ah, I'm almost dead now. Tsk! Damn idiotic. Why ain't cupcakes considered cake? C'mon! It's cupCAKE! I did my whole recipe again ._. OMG! Please let my recipe get through tomorrow! I don't want to redo! *Prays hard*

I woke up this morning with a sore feeling in my mouth ): Pain leh! Anyway, ♥Siaozhabor was so crap today! She made me climbed the stairs up and down cause she forgot to take her speech from me. But, since she helped me buy mac, I won't box her now :D Haha! 5 minutes ago, I told her to go blog. And, she just told me that she blogged finished the next moment ._. Tsktsk! I pity ♥Siaozhabor man! Go everywhere also need to bring a helmet along. Her parents scared that she will do stunts and injure herself. Therefore, they made her bring a helmet along! HAHAHAHAHA! And, she told me that she tweet a lot. Wanna know why? Cause tweety bird is her best bud! OMG! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I think that my mind is wandering too far off. I'm being so crappy here ._.

Why do you go for petty gains? No standard! Tsk!

2010-05-22T23:49:00.003+08:00

The sleeping queen is so tired, she needs to hibernate real soon. A tiring day as usual, and soon, she will be bombarded with datelines for projects. There are so many datelines to meet and time just flies. What should she do? She decided to just sleep for now, cause her beauty sleep is more important than anything else. She can't go around looking like a zombie.

I'm back from Suntec an today ain't as fun ): I still prefer last saturday. Tsk, either say things out loud or do it discreetly. Don't say it right in front of me and pretend that you are talking about something else which I don't know. I'm observant and I know what is going on yea? Oh well, forget it. I wasn't even interested in that activity. What can we do with so few people? Stare at each other? Today is sooooooooooo not fun! ):

I'm glad that you had recovered (: It was good news cause we were supposed to meet. In the end, things turn out the another way round ): I really thought that I could see you after such a long period of time. I really miss you and I mean it. I'm getting busier and I believed that you are busier than me. Life sucks a hell lot!

2010-05-22T02:33:00.002+08:00

Tsk! We left school at 11 plus at night again! OMG! Kaopeh leh! I finished my product on the dot, and plated. I went to the chef and told him that I completed my product but he totally forgotten about me after he marked someone's product first! ): Darn! I waited damn long can? Tsk! it was never my turn till 45 minutes later ._. Oh well, damn fail laa! Clean up and blah, and went to eat dinner. LOL, or maybe supper laa. We ate at 11.38pm ._. I checked my watch. After eating, I walked home. I used to walk the route with my ex-es. Today, I walked the same route alone :/ No big deal. I'm a brave girl. I ain't afraid of the dark, I'm just afraid that I won't reach home safely. Anyway, I got home safely and I showered. Did some stuff and finially blogging here. 2.38am on my watch now and tomorrow, I got lesson at 8.30am ._. Tsk! Tomorrow is a saturday and I need to stay in school till 3 pm? God damn it!

Are you feeling better already? (:

2010-05-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling so sleepy. My eyes are closing and I'm blogging with my eyes half closed ._. Tomorrow's my practical. God damn it! I need the blast freezer to freeze my cake! But it's always not cold enough! GG ._. Oh well, I will do my best tomorrow laa!

Tsk! My dark eye rings are getting darker. I think I'm going to move house soon. Soon, I'll be living in the zoo, with the pandas! OMG! And, I ALWAYS HAVE TROUBLE WAKING UP! I NEED MORNING CALLS! Today, I kept snoozing my alarm. I set my alarm at 6.50am and I only woke up at 8.15am, when I'm supposed to reached school by 8.30am! I think I should slap myself when I wake up to prevent me from sleeping back. LOL! I scared tomorrow I cannot wake up leh! OMG! I don't want to wake up after 5pm! Gosh! I'm going to sleep now! Good night! :D

You keep falling sick ): Please get well soon!

2010-05-18T21:52:00.004+08:00

Hey you, I feel so disappointed with you. I didn't expect you to behave this way you see. It's so childish. Yea, it's your choice. You can dislike me or hate me and delete me from your facebook. I don't give a damn. It just shows that how immature you are, seriously. I bet that you deleted me from your facebook because you saw me liking her status yea? So you jolly well assumed that I'm anti you and stuff. OMG! Don't assume yea? Get your facts right. I like her status because she mentioned about people posting insensitive remarks on her status and hope that they feel guilty. I'm not directly her words at you. I'm just feeling the same way as her as I experienced the same thing (see my blog post on 3 May 2010, Monday). There are countless insensitive people out there who ain't responsible for their words. And they end up hurting people. I want those people to feel guilty for their irresponsible actions. No doubt, I do know about the misunderstanding between you and her. But I didn't side any of you. I took a neutral stand and chose not to take any sides. I see you as a friend, as a senior. I just didn't expect you to do such things. I was really taken aback. What's becoming of this world? Assumptions really wreaks relationships ):

2010-05-17T20:32:00.002+08:00

Ah! Progress tests on this week! OMG! Damn it! Projects ain't really progressing ._. We are so slow, OMG!

Awwww, you finally left! You were great! It's a pity though. But it's alright! Cos you were never the one for me!

我的风! It's great to receive your call yesterday! And I didn't expect to see you today! Awwww, too bad we only 'Eh, Hello! Bye!" ): It's soooooooo Hi,Bye ._. Hope to see you real soon eh? Imy&Ikymmt :D!

I want nobody nobody but you! Do you know?

2010-05-15T17:31:00.001+08:00

I'm honoured (: ♥

2010-05-11T23:10:00.003+08:00

Damn! I'm so freaking busy with my school work that my blog is so dead! Hmm, where shall we start? Alright, shall start with school then. Projects on hand and dateline is soon I guess ): Menu planning and K.O. Kao! I'm really going to be KO soon laa! Tsk! Not enough time as usual! Progress tests are just around the corner! Practical test too ): FML man! Kao! I haven't even got the least idea what to do for my elaborate sweets! Sian jibuah ._.

Tsk! I got so much things that I want to do and I don't have the time! When I finally have the time, something unexpected will happen! ばか！Lots of things on my mind but I chose to ignore them first. I'll get back to them when I feel like it. What else can I do? They may seems trival but they ain't, seriously. I'm prioritising yea?

I'm kind of losing faith in you. You need to grow up yea? Life sucks a hell lot! ):

2010-05-08T23:16:00.003+08:00

Why do you even try to control me? Don't you know that I won't bow to you? Tsk!

I'm back from Suntec! Although I didn't do anything much, I had a great day (: We went to Taiwan Cafe to eat and I ordered a curry chicken cutlet rice. Gosh! The chicken cutlet was damn big alright? Was really damn full after that meal. Walked around and nuah at some bench, enjoying pretzel from Auntie Anne! Heh heh!

Recently, it's quite happening. I'm feel so lost at times! But, at least I know what I'm doing. There's no room for regrets. This is something assuring, I guess?

2010-05-04T20:53:00.002+08:00

Why didn't you text me? Why didn't you call me? ):

2010-05-03T16:59:00.002+08:00

Kao peh! What's the problem with some people? I seriously don't see the point why must they comment rubbish on my status and activity on facebook. Get a life man! Do you guys really have nothing to do? And there was this rotten guy, who seriously suck to the core. First of all, I don't know who the hell is he and when he added me on facebook, I accepted his request out of curteousy cause he's my friend's friend. Then, he commented on my status. Fine, you can comment anything but get your facts right yea? Kao! He scolded me for something that I didn't do? Chao chee bye! You and your rotten mouth! Think before you speak/type yea? You will offend so many people with your words! KNN! Bloody irresponsible guy! Whatever that you had said to me, I'm sorry but it doesn't applies to me (: I think that it applies to you instead :D No wonder you are rejected by girls. No wonder people don't like you. Gosh, find a big piece of wall and bang your head against the wall please? You totally wasted 18 years of your life. Grow up will you? Stop being so immature and scolding people that you don't even know for something that they didn't do. I'm seriously pissed off by what you said and I'm not going to forgive you. Cause you insulted me with no valid reason. Chao chee bye! You should go and die!

2010-05-02T23:05:00.002+08:00

Never underestimate the charm I exude. But why ain't you mesmerise by me?

2010-04-30T10:18:00.003+08:00

You are the second man that had shed tears for me. I must have been like a porcupine and I really did pricked you hard. It must have hurt a lot. I'm sorry but I'm not the one for you. You are a good man and I know that you will find a better girl than me. I'm not as good as what you think. 长痛不如短痛, I'd made my decision after a long consideration. I don't want to end up hurting you more becuase of my indecisiveness. Life moves on as usual and I don't want you to lead your old life because of me. I'm not worth you making such a big sacrifice. I'm just a part of your life and I'm your past now. Once again, I'm really sorry for hurting you and you must be feeling lost. If i didn't make my choice now, the impact may be greater and more painful. I don't want that to happen. Thank you for loving me.

2010-04-28T18:22:00.002+08:00

Kao! I was late for IS today. Hah, and I think I sprouted nonsense to Shie Ling. Tsk, and IS ended late today. Oh well, it doesn't really matter to me. Anyway, I partner Lawrence today! Haha! And the soup we made today tasted fabulous! Gosh, we had fun blending the ingredients in Sweet Delight! The seniors are so nice! ♥

I didn't choose to let you go. You chose to let go of me.

2010-04-25T17:01:00.001+08:00

I'm falling sick ): Hah, 生病是三小？I'm a strong girl, only if you are by my side.

2010-04-24T20:08:00.003+08:00

“风往哪个方向吹，草就往哪个方向倒。” —艋舺

你就是我的风，而我就是你的草。我会一直跟随着你 ♥

2010-04-22T20:12:00.002+08:00

Why is this world so complicated? Why do people always have a motive behind every of their actions? Why can't everyone just be contented? Why am I so unhappy? Why is there no one to answer my whys? Why WHY WHY? I'm depressed. I'm lying unconscious. I'm dead. What will you do? Life suck a hell lot ): I think I'd make the correct decision. I'm fighting for my rights and I didn't make a mountain out of a molehill. So, if anything happens to you, you only have yourself to blame. After what I'd saw, you don't seems to be the Mr. Nice. There is something cunning about you but I won't let you affect the way my brain functions. So, I'll just do it my way (:

2010-04-21T22:26:00.003+08:00

She's not that kind whom guys will take a second glance.

LOLLER! Anyway, tomorrow having lessons early in the morning. Sian-ness ):

I'm caught in a dilemma. What should I do? ):

2010-04-20T20:01:00.002+08:00

Weeeeeeeee! Tomomorrow no lessons! WOOHOOOOOOOOOO! Anyway, I woke up at 4pm today. Hah, I slept at 4 plus in the morning then around 11 plus answered a phone call. Yadayadayadeydo then went back to sleep. 2 plus woke up again to reply texts, thn sleep again. Finally, I woke up at 4 pm. I just randomly pick a top and went to shower. Lol, when I reached school, so many people asked me where I'm going -.- Aiyo, I'm not going anywhere laa! I just randomly pick this top cause I got no time to iron my tee. Tsk! Someone even more champion laa. Asked me if it's worth it to wear till so nice just for 2 hours. PLEASE lor, I must always look pretty and glam laa. Then what do you expect? Me to wear till damn la-thak then go to school or something? Gosh, that will never happen alright? It's so unpresentable. I have my image to maintain (:

2010-04-19T22:22:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRO! :D

Hmm, today's demo lesson is cancelled. But I went back to school for a meeting. I had fun just by attending the meeting! There will always be crappy nonsense after the serious stuffs. Haha! I went to KFC for lunch, and I talked for hours with Aaron. Then, we went to watch Shutter Island. It's a NC16 movie and I bought the tickets. I'd been watching NC16 before I'm 16 and I always can get in and never got checked. For the first time, the counter anutie wanted to check my IC and Aaron's IC! OMG laa! I was stunned! She saw Aaron's IC and mine. Aaron told her that he's 25 then the auntie said that he's okay but I'm not okay. Cause I don't look 16. Seriously, if the person doubt me for M18 movie still okay but this is a NC16 movie. It's kind of lame cause I can buy ticket for NC16 when I'm not 16 last time but I can't buy NC16 ticket when I'm 18 now? Lol. Watched the movie and my conclusion is: It's a nice movie. It's a combination of mystery and confusion. I think that I'm going bonkers after watching the movie. It's ironic isn't it? I said that it's nice yet I said that I'm going crazy. Hah, cause I'm confused about the ending myself. No doubt for that. Tomorrow's lessons will be cancelled too, except for KO. Gosh, I need to go back for KO at 4.30pm. I will really KO man. And I mean knock-out.

2010-04-17T22:49:00.005+08:00

The Boy:

If you see me walking on the road with someone else
It's not because I like her company
It's because you're not brave enough to walk beside me

If you hear me talking about her all the time
It's not because she pleases me
it's because you're too deaf to hear my heart beat

If you feel me falling for someone new
It's not because I love her
It's because you're not here to catch me if I fall

If you feel lost, I too am nowhere
I too don't know where the road is going
Are we going to cross each other's path,
Or just completely turn around?
Will we just let go of we had,
Or go to the place place where love is bound?

Don't let me walk with her
It's you I want to walk with
Don't let me talk to her
It's you want talk with
Don't let me fall for her
It's you I want to fall in love with

The Girl:

When you thought I wasn't brave enough to walk beside you
I was behind you every step of the way
Still filled with awe of charm that stands before me

When you thought I was too deaf to hear your heart beat
I didn't want to assume anything
I was afraid to lose our friendship

When you thought I wasn't there to catch you
I couldn't because you never gave me the chance
You never reached the ground; you've already grabbed a branch

If you feel like you are nowhere, I too am lost
I too don't know where the road is going
Are we just going to turn around,
Or are we going to cross each other's path?
Will we let go of what we have,
Or go to the place where love is bound?

Don't let me walk alone
I want to walk by your side
Don't let me talk to no one
It's you I want to talk with
Don't let me fall for no one and nothing
It's you I want to fall in love with

I understand your situation. I seriously do.
abcdefghisomissyou ):

2010-04-17T21:34:00.004+08:00

ARGH! Had a bad day today! Gosh! Seriously, is like WTF!!! First of all, I overslept and woke up at 8.30am when I'm supposed to have lessons at 8.30. Then I faster wake up and shower and cabbed to school. When I reached school, the teacher haven't come so I heaved a sign of relief cause attendance wasn't marked. Then the class waited for quite some time but the teacher still haven't come. So, I went to the office to find her but she wasn't there. I went to the management office and then the lady there told me that she's a new teacher and won't be coming to school till the 3rd week. She said that we are informed but seriously, we are not. Tsk, I shouldn't cab to school if I know she wasn't even in school. Waste my money. We then waited for Chef Matthew to come and lessons ended early than expected. I went to lunch with them and OMFG! I don't know how much time they spent on deciding what to eat. Waste my precious time. If there's a clash of what to eat and where to eat, just eat seperately and we can meet again after meal. It's hard to satisfy each and every person in such a big group. So, why bother waste time trying to decide what and where to eat when the discussion is not going anywhere? Just eat seperately and meet again later. It's just so easy. Why can't people understand this simple logic? Tsk! Then, we went to Jurong Safra with the intention of singing kbox. Cause, there is this $8 nett promotion. WTH! When we reached there, it became $16+++ which will add up to about $25/pax cause the promotion doesn't apply on weekend. Kao! I jitao sian half man. We then went pooling and I didn't pool at all. Reason is cause it's cheaper with Safra member and we don't have the card so we joined the rest of our class. When we went in, it's already like so many people pooling at one pool table so I can't insist that I want to pool right? So, I sat there and watched people pool. Then, I also died of boredom so I left and homed. I took a nap cause I am quite tired. My dark eye rings are getting darker and darker ):

2010-04-17T01:15:00.006+08:00

All the jerks in the world should just bang their head on the wall and die! (:

Tsk! SO DAMN KAOPEH! Anyway, I brought home my blackforest cake and I took out a few slices. And, there was this conversation between my mummy and me.

"你要拿给谁?"
"Aiya, 拿给我的朋友lor."
"男的女的?"
"男的."
"你的男朋友啊?"
"没有laa! 有很多个leh. 哪里可能是我的男朋友!" Then I gave her a -.- face.
"为什么要给他们? 他们没有做cake meh?"
"Aiya, 他们是煮东西的laa. 他们明天会煮日本餐给我try. Then我们exchange lor."
"Orhhhhhhhhhhhhh, 他们要做sushi 给你ah?"
"Aiya! 我不知道laa! 日本餐不是只有sushi lor. 还有别的 lor." I -.- my mummy again.
"Orhhhhhhh, then 是什么?"
" 不知道."
End of conver. LOL!

Hah, I'm just being me. As random as usual (: I don't know what's the point of the conversation but I just put it laa. Gosh, it's already so late. Tomorrow still got lessons early in the morning till afternoon. Sian-ness :O *yawns* Good night people! I will have a good sleep cause it's going to rain! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO! (:

P.S ALL JERKS OUT THERE SHOULD REALLY DIE (:

2010-04-15T20:45:00.002+08:00

I got this pair of shoes that I only worn it for a few times. But, I refused to wear it cause I find it too small. An old woman along the street just wore my old shoes and she thought that it's brand new. Isbht (:

wow WOW WOW! Knight Rider is so damn cool! Nice man! I love it! (: I want to live in a super high-tech world! I want to own a talking car with special abilities and I want to have super powers! I want to be the top-notch martial arts master and I want everlasting happiness! I want I WANT I WANT!!!

Term just started and everyone is so busy ): I hate this! Gosh, I don't know why I had got so
many cuts on my arm. Who the hell abused me huh? How come I got so many cuts? ): Tomorrow I got IS till 7pm. Will I get to see you? ):

2010-04-14T21:54:00.002+08:00

It's been ages since I hear from you ): A busy man like you won't take notice of me anyway.

2010-04-11T17:09:00.002+08:00

Argh! Life is miserable! OMG! I don't know why I said such depressing words. What happened to the happy me? Can someone tell me what is going wrong? I feel so dead! Who will pump oxygen to my heart? My heart feels so empty; so empty that I just feel like going into a deep deep sleep. I want to be like sleeping beauty, who only wakes up after her prince kissed her. But, can I really meet my prince? Argh, I should stop dreaming. It's not even realistic.

I'm feeling so lethargic. I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder. Why? I'm just a nobody. Is it because I'm getting matured and things just can't stop flashing in my mind? I feel that my brain is going to explode anytime. Honestly, is it just me or there are people feeling the same way as I feel now? Where is the optimistic me? Gosh, I want to be the happy girl I used to be ): Did I make the wrong decision? Nah, I don't think so. I don't regret my actions, unless it's really something that I really did it wrongly.

What's the reason that sometimes I'm feeling down? I don't know either. Or perhaps, I just refused to accept the truth. Cause, the truth really hurts. The truth shall just be kept secret. I don't want to know and never want to know. However strong I try to be, there will always be a weak side of me. I just need someone to be there with me. I need my superman ):

Some days I'll sit just staring out the window and watching this world passing me by. Sometimes I think there's nothing to live for; I almost break down and cry. Somtimes I think I'm crazy. Why am I here just wasting my time? Argh, why is it that we feel like strangers at times? I don't want things to turn out this way. Honestly, my insecurities could just eat me alive. I may be found lying dead on my bed tomorrow. Whatever it is, I got to keep myself alive, until love is found.

2010-04-10T22:36:00.002+08:00

Life sucks! ):

2010-04-04T18:18:00.006+08:00

You:
There's no way Mars will allow you to be under the rule or control of anyone else. You are independent, straight forward and enterprising in your manner. An explosive nature is revealed at times when restraint or opposition is placed in your path. You must expect danger at some stage of life as Mars rules weapons, injuries and fights.

Always prefer the gentle response to the aggressive, to minimise the negative energies of Mars. The sub rulership of Saturn means you do have the capacity for restraint if you exercise cool headedness instead.

Me:
The powerful 10th Solar House rulership indicates high preferment and possible fame - if you desire it. The power and warmth of the Sun endows you with a natural feeling of leadership and self importance. People will look to you for guidance, and with the added lunar and Saturnian vibrations, you maintain a calm mental outlook, even when the situation seems hopeless. This really instils confidence in those who look up to you.

Though your successes are assured after a long fight, you will experience hardships as a result of opposition and enemies - who are probably envious of your sterling qualities.

Us:
Our personal ruling planets are Sun and Mars and our lucky day is on Thursday.

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很感激，这城市拥挤的交通，让你我还能多相处几分钟。人潮中，怕失散所以轻轻拉你的手。一刻都不放松，也不想放松。忍不住，想要爱你的冲动。不确定你属于我，所以会有点寂寞。你给的幸福，在我心中自由走动，抚平我每一个伤口。忍不住，想要吻你的冲动。不确定我的执着是否能让你感动。我只能相信自己感受，不怕失落。关于你的一切，我想要比谁都懂。我的心是被你设定的闹钟。提醒我，想你的时间不够用。为什么平淡的事情现在忽然生动？是你改变我吗？你是情人还是朋友？我还没勇气想得太多。你的世界如此辽阔，我会在哪个角落呢？